Something old, something new

Asuma, Kirby and I spent the weekend working at Anime Fusion, a new convention that several of our old friends have put together. The idea was to combine the old favorites with views of where those old favorites have led the anime industry and its fans, and totally aside from numbers, bottom lines and whether or not there were piles of anything appearing or disappearing, I have to say they did it and I think the majority of the other 949 or so people who attended would agree. If you check my Facebook page you'll find pics from me if someone's tagged me in them. I didn't bring any cosplays along since I didn't expect to have time to get into either of the ones I have so all the pics you'll see are just plain old me.

My job was much different than most of the ones I do at conventions--I had to check identifications to ensure attendees of adult content panels were actually adults. I've worked on Security staff, but usually didn't interact with the average attendee unless I was helping at the door of a major convention event (such as a dance or costume contest). It did give me a chance to talk to people I don't normally get much time to chat with--more parents attending to support their child's presence and safety, more of the host hotel's staff, groups of people who aren't normally at the daytime events because they prefer the night life of a con... the list goes on but it was definitely a fun segment of the convention's attendees to work for. I had as much fun outside the door of the panels I was carding as I would have had inside (except for one that had little interest for me since I have a steady sweetie--I had WAY more fun outside that one!), unusual for the jobs I usually have.

The other thing that this unusual assignment gave me was a close look at something I was wondering as I picked and packed my vaping travel kit. I know geekdom tends to be ahead of the public curve when it comes to new electronic goodies, so I wondered if I'd see more than the occasional cosplayer (costumed player--person who dresses as a favorite character, sometimes also assuming the personality characteristics in the process) whose character is so often depicted with a cigarette that having one in hand or mouth is necessary for costume accuracy.

I didn't have to wait long.

I met my first vaper outside the first panel, just as I'd closed the door on a 100% full and very popular panel that couldn't possibly handle another single person. I parked my ass and pulled out my Vea to catch up on my nicotine intake while staying handy in case latecomers wanted to get in. Almost immediately I heard, "HEY!! What rig is that? I like!"

Turns out the guy had an eGo battery with a neat-looking colored clearo tank on it. We spent nearly about half an hour talking equipment, juices, and best for me, how to use a tank, something I've been wondering about since I'm such a n00b. Yeah, now I want a tank--probably one of the ViVi Novas, maybe the mini. It should fit my 510-threaded equipment and be about as much juice as I want out exposed to light and air max at once. He also let me taste his juice--awesome Mt. Dew duplicate and dead-on! The store he got it from doesn't have a website but he told me which mall it's in so I'll have to talk Asuma into taking me over there next trip to the Twin Cities.

From there I ran into several more vapers--all friendly, eager to talk and share notes and favorites. Since I only know one other person outside of either online or the con folk I know who vapes, it was really cool to expand my knowledge base and ask some of the questions that are just tough to answer without being face to face with the equipment in hand. I know there's a lot of video on YouTube but I just don't get a lot of online time to spend searching it out and digging thru a lot of drek to get to the useful stuff. I even loaned my spare batt(ery) out to a friend who wasn't sure his event job would let him slip out for a smoke--he didn't get a chance to use it since there was a way for him to get to the outdoors without leaving things he needed to watch, but he got a chance to check it out and compare it to the eCig he'd normally use in a situation like that. We didn't get time to discuss it but maybe next time I run into him we will.

I only really got one negative interaction on the subject of eCigs--a very young lady whose kneejerk reaction to overhearing a discussion I was having with someone curious about how I was making all that "smoke" without a cigarette. "It's still horrible for you," was answered with, "Maybe, but not nearly as horrible as the 4,000-6,000 chemicals and hundreds of carcinogens in tobacco smoke. This has 5 chemicals and other than nicotine none of them are harmful," followed by a list of those 5 chemicals. I've never seen a teenager drop a subject so quickly after being so aggressive in starting it.

I did relapse on the smellsticks--I probably went thru nearly 2 packs during the trip, the convention and the trip home. Smoking's always been a crutch when I'm short on sleep and I definitely went short before the trip even began--we needed to be in the Mall of America area well before noon and Friday night's "sleep" was actually about a 3 hour nap. I'm settling back to pre-con though--I allotted myself 10 tobacco sticks each of the last 3 days and have come up using 8 each day, so it's time to cut to 7 starting tomorrow and going thru the weekend. I'm also trying the tactic of not smoking my favorite brand, which is helping, I think.

Speaking of sleep, I had a doctor's appointment Wednesday. It went well, with lots of support coming without my even asking, especially on the subject of smoking cessation medications. I told him I'd quit using the Nicorette inhalers because the eCig was meeting my needs much more thoroughly, explaining the differences in using them. I did bring up that I don't want to use Chantix or Zyban as the side effects of Chantix sound like a risk I don't want to take, especially the recent study showing that it increases the risk of a cardiac event, and Zyban is out because I react very very very very badly to that medication--it's also marketed under the name Wellbutrin and I had a horrible reaction to that one when it first came out and was prescribed as an antidepressant. He listed a few more that wouldn't be appropriate for me, mostly to warn me that they'd interact badly with other meds I'm on, then wrote another prescription for Ambien for me to keep on file at the pharmacy in case I wind up with more sleep issues, again without my asking. I'm saving the Ambien for times when I go more than 2 to 3 nights on less than 4 hours' sleep due to withdrawal issues because I want to normalize body issues related to withdrawal with as little more than the vaporizer as I can, since the goal is to get to 100% eCig and functioning normally with that only. Beyond that, we'll see what happens.

I'm also changing my stop date, something else that came up with my doc. He's in favor of leaving it for a week from today; I feel I still have a lot to work out issue-wise as far as coping skills are concerned. I still smoked less at the convention than I did daily before getting my Vea, but more than I have been per day before the con, so obviously I have to identify the triggers and learn to deal with them before I reach my Stop Date (a suggestion from a friend, rather than calling it a "quit" anything--"stop" implies that I can "start" again if I choose, with "quit" being an implied pressure to never restart and puts more shame into a failed attempt). So, my Stop Date is now Dec. 1, 2012. There's another convention between now and then that I'll be working PR for (no staff duties, just promotion for WSBC) so I get another shot at functioning as a non-smoker.

Well, time for bed--the other reason to take it easy on Ambien is the horrific hangover. I've had a 2 hour nap and nearly fell asleep around 8 pm in spite of it. Have a fun night and I'll be trying to get here more--another suggestion from my awesome MD is to write more to put my reasons not to smoke, reasons to stop and reasons not to restart out where I can look at them. It's also time for me to do more writing for fun to keep this blog from being boredom central and worth your time and mine.

The Dawning Light, or, Habits I Never Knew I Had

Just a quickie post--my neck won't take a lot of babbling, which is nice for you--less of me to read.

Smoke counts:

Friday: 12
Saturday: 10

I'm allowing myself 10 tomorrow, then down to 8 on Monday, cut on Wednesday to 7 thru next Monday and see how that goes. I have a convention to work at this coming weekend, and usually having to go outside for every cigarette (I live with a smoker so we only smoke outside when sensitive family members come to visit) cuts down on my consumption but sometimes it increases it if a lot of my smoky friends are around--we wind up camping outside, shooting the breeze in the breeze, so to speak. I'll probably take along any clove cigarettes I have left and give them to a friend. Much as I love the taste there's no sense in them going to waste--I only smoked them when I was in the mood for something special so it's not working out very well to make them part of the daily routine. I think they're higher in nicotine than my regular smoke but the flavoring doesn't go down well for me as a regular thing--when I crave tobacco I want my Newports.

Speaking of which, if I had back a tenth of the smellsticks I've bummed out at conventions alone I wouldn't be purchasing another cigarette for the rest of this year, let alone until my quit date. As short on cash as I am from setting up with eCigs, that'd be really nice.

I'm also finding out pain spikes make it harder to control smellstick use--I'm guessing it's a comfort thing since I've been in chronic pain for most of the last 18 years and I've smoked far longer than that. To be honest, one of my better motivations to quit is that sometimes I'm on medications that make me sleepy and after having been in 2 house fires as a kid I'm scared to death that I'm going to fall asleep with a smoke and burn this place down. The trouble is, my smoke cravings peak at night so that's actually the toughest time not to smoke and those are the hardest cravings to vape away. I guess that's another reason there's a quit date, to get used to the change.

I do see progress though. I'm reaching for my Vea before my cigarette case after meals these days. I expected to have a rougher time eliminating the after-food "dessert" but with the flavors that nicotine liquid can be had in I can truly have dessert just by screwing on a sweet-flavored cart. I have a VG (vegetable glycerin) based cherry named Rainier that's awesome after meals and I'm using the Chocolate Truffle that doesn't vape well by itself mixed with it for a yummy Chocolate Covered Cherry. I don't have the proportions right yet but when I do it'll go in the DIY Nic Recipe tagged posts.

Have a good night and check out the post below this one for a big dose of adult funny--Shelf Life stars some of the best-known names in voice acting doing a live-action webseries and hilarious is an understatement when describing this one. So have a fun time and give it a look!

Decisions, Decisions

It's been a long, exciting, stressful day, but a nice peaceful evening. It all balances out in the end, I guess.

This morning was awesome on a stick and terrifying at the same time, but I liked the results--I'll babble more when I'm free too, which will be when all is set in stone.

I did smoke more cigarettes than I have been recently, but this was not a day to try to deal with tobacco withdrawal symptoms. This morning had a lot hinging on success and the fewer distractions from my fucked-over body, the better, and one thing I could control was the withdrawal. It does seem to me there's more than just the nicotine as an addictive factor with analogs--if it were just the nicotine the eCig would be all I'd need. Furthermore, the prescription inhaler (a Nicotrol product made up of a flavored nicotine cartridge and an inhaler to deliver it--no aerosol, just a 2-piece mouthpiece that opened up the cartridge and let the user inhale the nic) would have done it 3 years ago when I began trying with that. I expect the rest of the week will get me back on track and down in numbers again.

Speaking of numbers, the quit date is on or before October 31, 2012. Halloween's my favorite holiday so it makes sense to begin something anew that night at 11:59 pm.

I've said that lots of things are changing, and my weight seems to be on that list too. I checked the scale this weekend and I've actually dropped another 4 lbs. I haven't totaled things up lately but I'm truly not on a diet or medication or anything that is making weight loss happen; it's just happening. While I like that it's going away, two things worry me: Why, and when is it coming back? Guess I'll find that out when I need to know it.

I did have a funny moment during the night. My doctor did prescribe a little Ambien to help deal with the insomnia side effect of the withdrawal, and for the most part I did sleep like a little happy zombie until one odd point in the night. For some bizarre reason I "came to" at about 5:30, holding my phone and a bottle of water, sitting bolt upright in bed??? Whatever I was doing drained the charge on my phone too, because I woke up to my alarm coming from Asuma's side of the bed, because apparently when it went off on mine it was also showing signs of being near-dead so he kindly plugged it in for my daffy ass. Maybe I was playing Angry Birds in my sleep? Wonder if I did well...

Anyhow, time to keep this short--heading home tonight and need to finish packing up. I'll keep working on how I got to the point where I am right now so the current line of babble makes more sense. Meanwhile, if you're interested in the convention I help run, keep an eye on the Facebook page, the website and the forum and you'll get some necessary info in the next 10 days or so.