An old friend gave me this recipe awhile back and I may pull it out for the holidays if my family that never drinks ever finishes a bottle of something so I have something to pack it in???
Anyhow, here it is:
Homemade Kahlua
2C. Water
2C Sugar
1/4-1/2 C Instant Coffee
1 1/2 C Vodka
1-2 Vanilla Beans
10 Kona Coffee Beans, whole (optional)
Pour the Vodka, Kona beans and Vanilla Beans into whatever
container/pitcher you will be useing.
Boil water and sugar stirring untill dissolved. Remove
from heat, and add instant coffee VERY slowly, and
stir well. Allow to completly cool. Add the cooled
coffee mixture to the vodka w/ vanilla beans. Cap
well. Shake several times per day X 21 days. Remove
beans, and enjoy!
I wonder if I can sweeten this with something else and use less water and get a flavoring for vaping? Add it to some VG or add VG to it to get a decent taste without PG (I'm going to try vape flavors without PG since so many are allergic). Might be worth a try when I can afford to play with it--I already know how to do menthol and stock the menthol for it and I've got a shit-ton of vanilla beans to try for a good flavor with those.
And as for something awesome to make with it?
Mudslide
1 jigger Kahlua
1 jigger Amaretto (DiSaronno is best)
1 jigger Vodka
1 jigger Bailey's or other Irish Cream
Mix thoroughly. Can be shaken in shaker and poured as shots or served
over ice in highball glass. Those who find this drink too rich would
enjoy it more with a spritz of club soda added.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Beer Cheese Soup
One of the benefits of reduced tobacco smoking is having your taste buds and sense of smell come back. I've been finding myself bringing back an old hobby--making up recipes. Eating the same things I used to gets boring these days and while many people gain weight when they stop smoking, I have chronic pain issues that tend to ruin my appetite. Often the "I hurt too bad to mess with food" won out over "I just thought of something that sounds good--I should go make that." That's changed to an extent these days. I don't know why for certain, but it could be that the increased energy I have means I can pull off the ideas my brain cooks up before my back and neck decide I'm done messing around in the kitchen before my food's ready.
I started wanting to make Beer Cheese Soup after tasting a local restaurant chain's version. I liked it, but thought I could come up with a better one, so here's mine--it's sort of all my own. I started with a Potato Soup recipe I found in one of those church fundraiser cookbooks left from my Grandmother's house--my Aunt got most of Grandma's cookbooks, but she missed the one that Grandma actually cooked from, and that's where the recipe started. The rest is me altering it to come up with a copy of a soup the restaurant served. Of course you can alter it--and I have, even made it with leftover brats once and used a little Guiness stout for the beer and it was different but also really good.
Beer Cheese Soup
2-3 raw potatoes, diced (at least one should be a baking potato--the others can be either baking or a more waxy potato, whichever you prefer)
1 qt. chicken stock, divided (veggie stock is fine if you want a vegetarian soup)
4-5 slices good bacon
1/2 to 1 medium onion
1-2 cloves garlic, fresh, minced or mashed
1 rib celery, diced
1 carrot or several baby carrots, diced (optional)
1-2 c. diced cooked ham
Other meats to taste, optional
1 c. beer, usually a lager works best
2 c half and half
Whole or 2% milk. approx. 1 qt.
1/2 lb. Velveeta cheese, cubed
up to 1 c. shredded cheese, any kind--I use whatever's on hand
Salt and pepper to taste
Peel and cube potatoes and put into a big soup pot. Pour chicken broth over the potatoes to cover. Boil til just tender, about 10 minutes. Drain and set aside.
Chop bacon into 1-inch cubes (scissors work great on this job) and cook til done and fat is rendered. Remove bacon and set aside. Leave bacon fat in the pan.
Heat bacon fat til frying hot, then add onion, garlic, celery and carrots. Saute until onions are transparent.
Return bacon and potatoes to pot, then add ham and other meats, the beer and the rest of the chicken stock and heat to a simmer. Add half and half and bring back to simmering.
Add Velveeta cheese bit by bit, allowing each adddition to melt before adding more. Add other cheeses, being careful not to add too much as it will break the soup and ruin your yummies.
Bring all to a simmer and serve. This is awesome with fresh-baked breads, especially multi-grain or whole grains.
Makes about a gallon of soup. It freezes very well, but good luck having enough left to freeze--I seldom manage to.
I started wanting to make Beer Cheese Soup after tasting a local restaurant chain's version. I liked it, but thought I could come up with a better one, so here's mine--it's sort of all my own. I started with a Potato Soup recipe I found in one of those church fundraiser cookbooks left from my Grandmother's house--my Aunt got most of Grandma's cookbooks, but she missed the one that Grandma actually cooked from, and that's where the recipe started. The rest is me altering it to come up with a copy of a soup the restaurant served. Of course you can alter it--and I have, even made it with leftover brats once and used a little Guiness stout for the beer and it was different but also really good.
Beer Cheese Soup
2-3 raw potatoes, diced (at least one should be a baking potato--the others can be either baking or a more waxy potato, whichever you prefer)
1 qt. chicken stock, divided (veggie stock is fine if you want a vegetarian soup)
4-5 slices good bacon
1/2 to 1 medium onion
1-2 cloves garlic, fresh, minced or mashed
1 rib celery, diced
1 carrot or several baby carrots, diced (optional)
1-2 c. diced cooked ham
Other meats to taste, optional
1 c. beer, usually a lager works best
2 c half and half
Whole or 2% milk. approx. 1 qt.
1/2 lb. Velveeta cheese, cubed
up to 1 c. shredded cheese, any kind--I use whatever's on hand
Salt and pepper to taste
Peel and cube potatoes and put into a big soup pot. Pour chicken broth over the potatoes to cover. Boil til just tender, about 10 minutes. Drain and set aside.
Chop bacon into 1-inch cubes (scissors work great on this job) and cook til done and fat is rendered. Remove bacon and set aside. Leave bacon fat in the pan.
Heat bacon fat til frying hot, then add onion, garlic, celery and carrots. Saute until onions are transparent.
Return bacon and potatoes to pot, then add ham and other meats, the beer and the rest of the chicken stock and heat to a simmer. Add half and half and bring back to simmering.
Add Velveeta cheese bit by bit, allowing each adddition to melt before adding more. Add other cheeses, being careful not to add too much as it will break the soup and ruin your yummies.
Bring all to a simmer and serve. This is awesome with fresh-baked breads, especially multi-grain or whole grains.
Makes about a gallon of soup. It freezes very well, but good luck having enough left to freeze--I seldom manage to.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Something old, something new
Asuma, Kirby and I spent the weekend working at Anime Fusion, a new convention that several of our old friends have put together. The idea was to combine the old favorites with views of where those old favorites have led the anime industry and its fans, and totally aside from numbers, bottom lines and whether or not there were piles of anything appearing or disappearing, I have to say they did it and I think the majority of the other 949 or so people who attended would agree. If you check my Facebook page you'll find pics from me if someone's tagged me in them. I didn't bring any cosplays along since I didn't expect to have time to get into either of the ones I have so all the pics you'll see are just plain old me.
My job was much different than most of the ones I do at conventions--I had to check identifications to ensure attendees of adult content panels were actually adults. I've worked on Security staff, but usually didn't interact with the average attendee unless I was helping at the door of a major convention event (such as a dance or costume contest). It did give me a chance to talk to people I don't normally get much time to chat with--more parents attending to support their child's presence and safety, more of the host hotel's staff, groups of people who aren't normally at the daytime events because they prefer the night life of a con... the list goes on but it was definitely a fun segment of the convention's attendees to work for. I had as much fun outside the door of the panels I was carding as I would have had inside (except for one that had little interest for me since I have a steady sweetie--I had WAY more fun outside that one!), unusual for the jobs I usually have.
The other thing that this unusual assignment gave me was a close look at something I was wondering as I picked and packed my vaping travel kit. I know geekdom tends to be ahead of the public curve when it comes to new electronic goodies, so I wondered if I'd see more than the occasional cosplayer (costumed player--person who dresses as a favorite character, sometimes also assuming the personality characteristics in the process) whose character is so often depicted with a cigarette that having one in hand or mouth is necessary for costume accuracy.
I didn't have to wait long.
I met my first vaper outside the first panel, just as I'd closed the door on a 100% full and very popular panel that couldn't possibly handle another single person. I parked my ass and pulled out my Vea to catch up on my nicotine intake while staying handy in case latecomers wanted to get in. Almost immediately I heard, "HEY!! What rig is that? I like!"
Turns out the guy had an eGo battery with a neat-looking colored clearo tank on it. We spent nearly about half an hour talking equipment, juices, and best for me, how to use a tank, something I've been wondering about since I'm such a n00b. Yeah, now I want a tank--probably one of the ViVi Novas, maybe the mini. It should fit my 510-threaded equipment and be about as much juice as I want out exposed to light and air max at once. He also let me taste his juice--awesome Mt. Dew duplicate and dead-on! The store he got it from doesn't have a website but he told me which mall it's in so I'll have to talk Asuma into taking me over there next trip to the Twin Cities.
From there I ran into several more vapers--all friendly, eager to talk and share notes and favorites. Since I only know one other person outside of either online or the con folk I know who vapes, it was really cool to expand my knowledge base and ask some of the questions that are just tough to answer without being face to face with the equipment in hand. I know there's a lot of video on YouTube but I just don't get a lot of online time to spend searching it out and digging thru a lot of drek to get to the useful stuff. I even loaned my spare batt(ery) out to a friend who wasn't sure his event job would let him slip out for a smoke--he didn't get a chance to use it since there was a way for him to get to the outdoors without leaving things he needed to watch, but he got a chance to check it out and compare it to the eCig he'd normally use in a situation like that. We didn't get time to discuss it but maybe next time I run into him we will.
I only really got one negative interaction on the subject of eCigs--a very young lady whose kneejerk reaction to overhearing a discussion I was having with someone curious about how I was making all that "smoke" without a cigarette. "It's still horrible for you," was answered with, "Maybe, but not nearly as horrible as the 4,000-6,000 chemicals and hundreds of carcinogens in tobacco smoke. This has 5 chemicals and other than nicotine none of them are harmful," followed by a list of those 5 chemicals. I've never seen a teenager drop a subject so quickly after being so aggressive in starting it.
I did relapse on the smellsticks--I probably went thru nearly 2 packs during the trip, the convention and the trip home. Smoking's always been a crutch when I'm short on sleep and I definitely went short before the trip even began--we needed to be in the Mall of America area well before noon and Friday night's "sleep" was actually about a 3 hour nap. I'm settling back to pre-con though--I allotted myself 10 tobacco sticks each of the last 3 days and have come up using 8 each day, so it's time to cut to 7 starting tomorrow and going thru the weekend. I'm also trying the tactic of not smoking my favorite brand, which is helping, I think.
Speaking of sleep, I had a doctor's appointment Wednesday. It went well, with lots of support coming without my even asking, especially on the subject of smoking cessation medications. I told him I'd quit using the Nicorette inhalers because the eCig was meeting my needs much more thoroughly, explaining the differences in using them. I did bring up that I don't want to use Chantix or Zyban as the side effects of Chantix sound like a risk I don't want to take, especially the recent study showing that it increases the risk of a cardiac event, and Zyban is out because I react very very very very badly to that medication--it's also marketed under the name Wellbutrin and I had a horrible reaction to that one when it first came out and was prescribed as an antidepressant. He listed a few more that wouldn't be appropriate for me, mostly to warn me that they'd interact badly with other meds I'm on, then wrote another prescription for Ambien for me to keep on file at the pharmacy in case I wind up with more sleep issues, again without my asking. I'm saving the Ambien for times when I go more than 2 to 3 nights on less than 4 hours' sleep due to withdrawal issues because I want to normalize body issues related to withdrawal with as little more than the vaporizer as I can, since the goal is to get to 100% eCig and functioning normally with that only. Beyond that, we'll see what happens.
I'm also changing my stop date, something else that came up with my doc. He's in favor of leaving it for a week from today; I feel I still have a lot to work out issue-wise as far as coping skills are concerned. I still smoked less at the convention than I did daily before getting my Vea, but more than I have been per day before the con, so obviously I have to identify the triggers and learn to deal with them before I reach my Stop Date (a suggestion from a friend, rather than calling it a "quit" anything--"stop" implies that I can "start" again if I choose, with "quit" being an implied pressure to never restart and puts more shame into a failed attempt). So, my Stop Date is now Dec. 1, 2012. There's another convention between now and then that I'll be working PR for (no staff duties, just promotion for WSBC) so I get another shot at functioning as a non-smoker.
Well, time for bed--the other reason to take it easy on Ambien is the horrific hangover. I've had a 2 hour nap and nearly fell asleep around 8 pm in spite of it. Have a fun night and I'll be trying to get here more--another suggestion from my awesome MD is to write more to put my reasons not to smoke, reasons to stop and reasons not to restart out where I can look at them. It's also time for me to do more writing for fun to keep this blog from being boredom central and worth your time and mine.
My job was much different than most of the ones I do at conventions--I had to check identifications to ensure attendees of adult content panels were actually adults. I've worked on Security staff, but usually didn't interact with the average attendee unless I was helping at the door of a major convention event (such as a dance or costume contest). It did give me a chance to talk to people I don't normally get much time to chat with--more parents attending to support their child's presence and safety, more of the host hotel's staff, groups of people who aren't normally at the daytime events because they prefer the night life of a con... the list goes on but it was definitely a fun segment of the convention's attendees to work for. I had as much fun outside the door of the panels I was carding as I would have had inside (except for one that had little interest for me since I have a steady sweetie--I had WAY more fun outside that one!), unusual for the jobs I usually have.
The other thing that this unusual assignment gave me was a close look at something I was wondering as I picked and packed my vaping travel kit. I know geekdom tends to be ahead of the public curve when it comes to new electronic goodies, so I wondered if I'd see more than the occasional cosplayer (costumed player--person who dresses as a favorite character, sometimes also assuming the personality characteristics in the process) whose character is so often depicted with a cigarette that having one in hand or mouth is necessary for costume accuracy.
I didn't have to wait long.
I met my first vaper outside the first panel, just as I'd closed the door on a 100% full and very popular panel that couldn't possibly handle another single person. I parked my ass and pulled out my Vea to catch up on my nicotine intake while staying handy in case latecomers wanted to get in. Almost immediately I heard, "HEY!! What rig is that? I like!"
Turns out the guy had an eGo battery with a neat-looking colored clearo tank on it. We spent nearly about half an hour talking equipment, juices, and best for me, how to use a tank, something I've been wondering about since I'm such a n00b. Yeah, now I want a tank--probably one of the ViVi Novas, maybe the mini. It should fit my 510-threaded equipment and be about as much juice as I want out exposed to light and air max at once. He also let me taste his juice--awesome Mt. Dew duplicate and dead-on! The store he got it from doesn't have a website but he told me which mall it's in so I'll have to talk Asuma into taking me over there next trip to the Twin Cities.
From there I ran into several more vapers--all friendly, eager to talk and share notes and favorites. Since I only know one other person outside of either online or the con folk I know who vapes, it was really cool to expand my knowledge base and ask some of the questions that are just tough to answer without being face to face with the equipment in hand. I know there's a lot of video on YouTube but I just don't get a lot of online time to spend searching it out and digging thru a lot of drek to get to the useful stuff. I even loaned my spare batt(ery) out to a friend who wasn't sure his event job would let him slip out for a smoke--he didn't get a chance to use it since there was a way for him to get to the outdoors without leaving things he needed to watch, but he got a chance to check it out and compare it to the eCig he'd normally use in a situation like that. We didn't get time to discuss it but maybe next time I run into him we will.
I only really got one negative interaction on the subject of eCigs--a very young lady whose kneejerk reaction to overhearing a discussion I was having with someone curious about how I was making all that "smoke" without a cigarette. "It's still horrible for you," was answered with, "Maybe, but not nearly as horrible as the 4,000-6,000 chemicals and hundreds of carcinogens in tobacco smoke. This has 5 chemicals and other than nicotine none of them are harmful," followed by a list of those 5 chemicals. I've never seen a teenager drop a subject so quickly after being so aggressive in starting it.
I did relapse on the smellsticks--I probably went thru nearly 2 packs during the trip, the convention and the trip home. Smoking's always been a crutch when I'm short on sleep and I definitely went short before the trip even began--we needed to be in the Mall of America area well before noon and Friday night's "sleep" was actually about a 3 hour nap. I'm settling back to pre-con though--I allotted myself 10 tobacco sticks each of the last 3 days and have come up using 8 each day, so it's time to cut to 7 starting tomorrow and going thru the weekend. I'm also trying the tactic of not smoking my favorite brand, which is helping, I think.
Speaking of sleep, I had a doctor's appointment Wednesday. It went well, with lots of support coming without my even asking, especially on the subject of smoking cessation medications. I told him I'd quit using the Nicorette inhalers because the eCig was meeting my needs much more thoroughly, explaining the differences in using them. I did bring up that I don't want to use Chantix or Zyban as the side effects of Chantix sound like a risk I don't want to take, especially the recent study showing that it increases the risk of a cardiac event, and Zyban is out because I react very very very very badly to that medication--it's also marketed under the name Wellbutrin and I had a horrible reaction to that one when it first came out and was prescribed as an antidepressant. He listed a few more that wouldn't be appropriate for me, mostly to warn me that they'd interact badly with other meds I'm on, then wrote another prescription for Ambien for me to keep on file at the pharmacy in case I wind up with more sleep issues, again without my asking. I'm saving the Ambien for times when I go more than 2 to 3 nights on less than 4 hours' sleep due to withdrawal issues because I want to normalize body issues related to withdrawal with as little more than the vaporizer as I can, since the goal is to get to 100% eCig and functioning normally with that only. Beyond that, we'll see what happens.
I'm also changing my stop date, something else that came up with my doc. He's in favor of leaving it for a week from today; I feel I still have a lot to work out issue-wise as far as coping skills are concerned. I still smoked less at the convention than I did daily before getting my Vea, but more than I have been per day before the con, so obviously I have to identify the triggers and learn to deal with them before I reach my Stop Date (a suggestion from a friend, rather than calling it a "quit" anything--"stop" implies that I can "start" again if I choose, with "quit" being an implied pressure to never restart and puts more shame into a failed attempt). So, my Stop Date is now Dec. 1, 2012. There's another convention between now and then that I'll be working PR for (no staff duties, just promotion for WSBC) so I get another shot at functioning as a non-smoker.
Well, time for bed--the other reason to take it easy on Ambien is the horrific hangover. I've had a 2 hour nap and nearly fell asleep around 8 pm in spite of it. Have a fun night and I'll be trying to get here more--another suggestion from my awesome MD is to write more to put my reasons not to smoke, reasons to stop and reasons not to restart out where I can look at them. It's also time for me to do more writing for fun to keep this blog from being boredom central and worth your time and mine.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
What's that red thing?
One of the things that's made me look up from watching to make sure one foot goes in front of the other is what a lot of people call "vaping", meaning using an eCigarette to inhale nicotine instead of smoking traditional "analog" cigarettes. My experiences to date have been so surprising that it's one of the main reasons I've begun blogging again.
The story so far:
A few years back: My boyfriend, the long-suffering Asuma (no, I'm not going to out his real name or nearly anyone else's--I have friends who treasure their privacy and I have other friends who are relatively famous in their fields, so I'd need a very good reason to post anyone's real name here, including my own), has a niece living close by that we hear from from time to time, usually when there's a project or event she wants our involvement with.
But as usual I digress, so let me get back on track.
The niece had stumbled onto a new-cool-something that she wanted each and every one of her smoking friends to check out, mostly because she'd signed up as a rep for the company (think of the Avon lady, only selling nicotine vaporizers), and since I've been a smoker for a very long time she naturally thought of me.
She tried her ass off to sell me one of her company's eCigs--I don't remember the company name but they had one of the guys from the TV show "Deadliest Catch" as their spokesperson, so maybe that would give you the company name if you care. It didn't work for one plain reason: There was no way to try out a system that would start out costing me more than a carton of smokes.
That was a huge catch for me. Laying out around $100 by the time I got done ordering the cartridges (the thing needed to make with the fake smoke) without knowing if I would even like the damned thing is not an option. I'm not a rich bitch--an extra $100 has far more uses than a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey smokey-thingy could demand if I'd never laid my own hands on one or had a chance to smoke off it at least once! Besides, I've got a few other habits too--I knit, I make soap and other scented goodies (if it reeketh, I maketh), and have you SEEN the price of anime DVDs lately? Crack's cheaper! I have to admit it's not nearly as fun though... Anyhow, you get the point. Thunking down that much cash and thereby leaving me short of money for "real" cigarettes (my way of thinking at the time--part of the reason for blogging this process is to see the changes in my own thinking and show it to those of you who give a shit) wasn't happening.
The last time I ran into her, a year ago or so, she was still trying to talk me into sampling the wares by buying a set. I still wanted a chance to try one before committing to that much cash, so I looked around--at the disposables in stores (and thought they were WAY too expensive--2-3 times the price of a pack of cigarettes but only designed to last about as long as one pack) and on the Intarwebs (same deal on price but add shipping charges that ranged from reasonable to ridiculous and it still added up to "um, I'll pass, thanks") plus checking out reusable systems, which seemed to be a better deal.
I've also got a friend who has been using eCigs for a long time and one piece of advice was to reload the cartridges instead of buying ones you couldn't reload--said it would save me even more money. So I kept looking around and thought there were a couple that might be handy but to reload the cartridges would be minor surgery each time since they just weren't designed to be reused.
FAST FORWARD TO...
Late August, 2012: I opened a MyPoints.com email to find an ad for an eCig company that was offfering a 4-pack of disposable eCigs for $25 or so plus a free shipping code. I hit the link, went to the site, looked the offer over and popped for the sample set.
I got them in 5 days or so, opened one and started using it. It was different but felt a lot more like really smoking than the Nicotrol nicotine inhalers I had a prescription for that I used once in awhile when I was somewhere I wasn't allowed to smoke and had to deal with nic fits.
The trouble was the taste. The Menthol one wasn't bad, but the Strawberry and Blueberry flavors had about as much to do with tasting like those fruits as a Chihuahua has with being a kitten--they're about the same size, they do a few things the same but one is no substitute for the other. Worst, the "Tobacco" flavor tasted like someone cracked a pack of Marlboro Reds, took only one out and then left it on someone's front porch over the winter and I picked it up and tried to smoke one. BLICK! I eventually used them up--I used up the Menthol one the week before last at home, a friend and I used up 2 of them on a bus trip that turned into the Bataan Death March when the driver got lost and I killed the third on the way home that trip. That was the last weekend in September 2012.
During that following week there were times I found myself wishing I had one left. I thought that was odd as hell--I had cigarettes, but sort of... yeah, it's the right word... craved an eCig.
Mid-September 2012: I was still working on those awful disposable eCig samples when I had a three-day fandom convention to attend. Since I work on our convention's PR team, I figured there'd be times I wouldn't want to break off a conversation or I'd be alone at the table and not be able to go smoke, so I brought the disposables along. Two strange things happened that weekend.
The first was meeting a guy who noticed I had an eCig. We wound up talking for the better part of an hour about eCigs in general, how lousy the ones I had tasted and that not all of them taste like that, and best of all, once I had a rechargeable and refillable system, how I could make my own (DIY) eLiquids, flavored just as I liked them, with exactly the right amount of nicotine! Seriously cool, I thought. It just might be worth it--and it'll save me money on smokes, which was even cooler!! "Anime--Crack is Cheaper" is a t-shirt that should have been made just for me, and I had me a VERY loooooonh wishlist!
The other thing was actually not so great as far as using eCigs was concerned but did point up a problem with their increasing popularity: ignorance.
I'd been talking with a staff member of the convention I was at. He'd stopped by the PR table to ask about some ways to connect state conventions together, and we wound up babbling more than a little bit, so I'd pulled out one of my disposables rather than break off the great talk we were having.
Discussing the incident later, the nicest conclusion as to why it wouldn't be allowed was ignorance, mostly of what was exhaled during eCig use. Water is actually the main component of what is left when a user exhales but many people believe that much more harmful ingredients are both used in the original liquids and are remaining in the exhaled vapor, so that seemed to be the logical conclusion as to why a large pile of well-educated people wouldn't allow something so harmless to be used.
Fine, I thought, "it's your con, your rules. But it would be really f'n cool if you'd not only educate yourselves on what you're outlawing but actually POST THE RULE if you expect anyone to follow it." Nope, they hadn't bothered to post it anywhere--website, signs around the hotel or in the programming guide where the full list of rules WAS printed.
Last week of September 2012: I spent this researching various systems, initial cost, cost of supplies once I'd begun to use them, ease of refilling (highly important if I was actually going to save any money since some systems' carts cost almost as much as the packs of cigarettes they were replacing) and other issues that came up as my research showed me what nicotine vaporizers were capable of doing.
I came out of the week deciding I wanted a Vea system, so that's what I'd be buying on payday.
So--that's what brought me from "I heart my cigarettes too much to ever get rid of them" to purchasing an eCig system to setting my quit date. You'll find the rest of the story as you keep reading Unstuck in Midlife.
The story so far:
A few years back: My boyfriend, the long-suffering Asuma (no, I'm not going to out his real name or nearly anyone else's--I have friends who treasure their privacy and I have other friends who are relatively famous in their fields, so I'd need a very good reason to post anyone's real name here, including my own), has a niece living close by that we hear from from time to time, usually when there's a project or event she wants our involvement with.
But as usual I digress, so let me get back on track.
The niece had stumbled onto a new-cool-something that she wanted each and every one of her smoking friends to check out, mostly because she'd signed up as a rep for the company (think of the Avon lady, only selling nicotine vaporizers), and since I've been a smoker for a very long time she naturally thought of me.
She tried her ass off to sell me one of her company's eCigs--I don't remember the company name but they had one of the guys from the TV show "Deadliest Catch" as their spokesperson, so maybe that would give you the company name if you care. It didn't work for one plain reason: There was no way to try out a system that would start out costing me more than a carton of smokes.
That was a huge catch for me. Laying out around $100 by the time I got done ordering the cartridges (the thing needed to make with the fake smoke) without knowing if I would even like the damned thing is not an option. I'm not a rich bitch--an extra $100 has far more uses than a wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey smokey-thingy could demand if I'd never laid my own hands on one or had a chance to smoke off it at least once! Besides, I've got a few other habits too--I knit, I make soap and other scented goodies (if it reeketh, I maketh), and have you SEEN the price of anime DVDs lately? Crack's cheaper! I have to admit it's not nearly as fun though... Anyhow, you get the point. Thunking down that much cash and thereby leaving me short of money for "real" cigarettes (my way of thinking at the time--part of the reason for blogging this process is to see the changes in my own thinking and show it to those of you who give a shit) wasn't happening.
The last time I ran into her, a year ago or so, she was still trying to talk me into sampling the wares by buying a set. I still wanted a chance to try one before committing to that much cash, so I looked around--at the disposables in stores (and thought they were WAY too expensive--2-3 times the price of a pack of cigarettes but only designed to last about as long as one pack) and on the Intarwebs (same deal on price but add shipping charges that ranged from reasonable to ridiculous and it still added up to "um, I'll pass, thanks") plus checking out reusable systems, which seemed to be a better deal.
I've also got a friend who has been using eCigs for a long time and one piece of advice was to reload the cartridges instead of buying ones you couldn't reload--said it would save me even more money. So I kept looking around and thought there were a couple that might be handy but to reload the cartridges would be minor surgery each time since they just weren't designed to be reused.
FAST FORWARD TO...
Late August, 2012: I opened a MyPoints.com email to find an ad for an eCig company that was offfering a 4-pack of disposable eCigs for $25 or so plus a free shipping code. I hit the link, went to the site, looked the offer over and popped for the sample set.
I got them in 5 days or so, opened one and started using it. It was different but felt a lot more like really smoking than the Nicotrol nicotine inhalers I had a prescription for that I used once in awhile when I was somewhere I wasn't allowed to smoke and had to deal with nic fits.
The trouble was the taste. The Menthol one wasn't bad, but the Strawberry and Blueberry flavors had about as much to do with tasting like those fruits as a Chihuahua has with being a kitten--they're about the same size, they do a few things the same but one is no substitute for the other. Worst, the "Tobacco" flavor tasted like someone cracked a pack of Marlboro Reds, took only one out and then left it on someone's front porch over the winter and I picked it up and tried to smoke one. BLICK! I eventually used them up--I used up the Menthol one the week before last at home, a friend and I used up 2 of them on a bus trip that turned into the Bataan Death March when the driver got lost and I killed the third on the way home that trip. That was the last weekend in September 2012.
During that following week there were times I found myself wishing I had one left. I thought that was odd as hell--I had cigarettes, but sort of... yeah, it's the right word... craved an eCig.
Mid-September 2012: I was still working on those awful disposable eCig samples when I had a three-day fandom convention to attend. Since I work on our convention's PR team, I figured there'd be times I wouldn't want to break off a conversation or I'd be alone at the table and not be able to go smoke, so I brought the disposables along. Two strange things happened that weekend.
The first was meeting a guy who noticed I had an eCig. We wound up talking for the better part of an hour about eCigs in general, how lousy the ones I had tasted and that not all of them taste like that, and best of all, once I had a rechargeable and refillable system, how I could make my own (DIY) eLiquids, flavored just as I liked them, with exactly the right amount of nicotine! Seriously cool, I thought. It just might be worth it--and it'll save me money on smokes, which was even cooler!! "Anime--Crack is Cheaper" is a t-shirt that should have been made just for me, and I had me a VERY loooooonh wishlist!
The other thing was actually not so great as far as using eCigs was concerned but did point up a problem with their increasing popularity: ignorance.
I'd been talking with a staff member of the convention I was at. He'd stopped by the PR table to ask about some ways to connect state conventions together, and we wound up babbling more than a little bit, so I'd pulled out one of my disposables rather than break off the great talk we were having.
"Ummm, we don't allow those here," gesturing to my eCig.
The answer to the inevitable "Well, why not?" was...
"We decided we don't want to have those around here."
Further "Why" questions didn't get me anywhere--mostly the answers added up to "because we said so", an answer that quit working on me around age, oh, THREE.
Discussing the incident later, the nicest conclusion as to why it wouldn't be allowed was ignorance, mostly of what was exhaled during eCig use. Water is actually the main component of what is left when a user exhales but many people believe that much more harmful ingredients are both used in the original liquids and are remaining in the exhaled vapor, so that seemed to be the logical conclusion as to why a large pile of well-educated people wouldn't allow something so harmless to be used.
Fine, I thought, "it's your con, your rules. But it would be really f'n cool if you'd not only educate yourselves on what you're outlawing but actually POST THE RULE if you expect anyone to follow it." Nope, they hadn't bothered to post it anywhere--website, signs around the hotel or in the programming guide where the full list of rules WAS printed.
Last week of September 2012: I spent this researching various systems, initial cost, cost of supplies once I'd begun to use them, ease of refilling (highly important if I was actually going to save any money since some systems' carts cost almost as much as the packs of cigarettes they were replacing) and other issues that came up as my research showed me what nicotine vaporizers were capable of doing.
I came out of the week deciding I wanted a Vea system, so that's what I'd be buying on payday.
So--that's what brought me from "I heart my cigarettes too much to ever get rid of them" to purchasing an eCig system to setting my quit date. You'll find the rest of the story as you keep reading Unstuck in Midlife.
Why is the Rainier Gone?
Once again, the usual disclaimer: I am not being paid to review, use or blog at all about Johnson Creek Smoke Juice's products. I just like their shit so I write about it.
I had to sit down today and refill my travel pouch--top off my bottles and carts, take out stuff I'm not using enough to carry around, and took the opportunity to play with a couple of mixes. One's new, the other is a Chocolate-Covered Cherry I've been playing with (recipe later). That's when tragedy struck!
I discovered that I was out of jcsmoke.com's Red Oak Rainier juice. I went thru a half-ounce bottle in 11 days.
I knew I'd like it but when I placed my order for my Vea and juices to use in it, I had to draw a line somewhere, so I'd only gotten 1/2 oz of the Rainier. Now I have about 5 drops left in my glass bottle. I knew I should have ordered more, but I didn't expect to vape it every night either. Fine, so next month I get 2 Tundra and 1 full oz of Rainier, since the Tundra is the daily one I put on the eCig every night so I have a full cart overnight and to start out with in the morning.
On the quitting front, I stuck to my 8 smellsticks today but I'm getting worse insomnia again, so time to suck it up and get thru it. I have a small supply of Ambien, so I'll resort to it when I can't stand the no-brain from lack of sleep and revisit the subject with my doctor next week. So, tomorrow I allot 8 again, then 7 Wednesday and reconsider from there. Getting withdrawal symptoms at all when I've only cut down has kind of blindsided me--I expected them once I quit completely, but didn't expect them so soon and they started last week already.
Feel free to drop suggestions for dealing with withdrawal in the comments--not sure why I'm having them at all since I'm using plenty of nicotine replacement (see the title of this post), vaping throughout the day using 24mg/100 ml strength juice plus still smoking some (8 down from 1-1.5 packs/day).
And no, smartass (I know there's one of you out there--there always is), "Quit vaping and just smoke your nicotine like normal people" is NOT a valid suggestion so don't bother. Actually, go ahead and do it--it'll give me something to giggle at when I delete your comment since all comments are moderated before they hit the page.
Time for bed (or try to sleep anyhow) so here's the mix for that Chocolate Covered Cherry mess that's making my room smell awesome and my newly-awake tastebuds squee:
2 parts Johnson Creek Red Oak Rainier Smoke Juice
1 part Johnson Creek Original Chocolate Truffle Smoke Juice
Mix, steep 2 days, then fill a cart and pig out!
If you're allergic to Propylene Glycol (the main allergy turning up amongst vapers) use the Red Oak line Swiss Dark--but expect the results to be thick, because I'm told the Swiss Dark is so thick it doesn't vape well or at all unless you mix it down anyhow. I may also add just a little bit of Vanilla once I get some on hand--vanilla always rounds out chocolate flavors and brings them out so it might really kick this mix in the ass even tho it's already pretty rockin'.
Have fun and happy vaping!
I had to sit down today and refill my travel pouch--top off my bottles and carts, take out stuff I'm not using enough to carry around, and took the opportunity to play with a couple of mixes. One's new, the other is a Chocolate-Covered Cherry I've been playing with (recipe later). That's when tragedy struck!
I discovered that I was out of jcsmoke.com's Red Oak Rainier juice. I went thru a half-ounce bottle in 11 days.
I knew I'd like it but when I placed my order for my Vea and juices to use in it, I had to draw a line somewhere, so I'd only gotten 1/2 oz of the Rainier. Now I have about 5 drops left in my glass bottle. I knew I should have ordered more, but I didn't expect to vape it every night either. Fine, so next month I get 2 Tundra and 1 full oz of Rainier, since the Tundra is the daily one I put on the eCig every night so I have a full cart overnight and to start out with in the morning.
On the quitting front, I stuck to my 8 smellsticks today but I'm getting worse insomnia again, so time to suck it up and get thru it. I have a small supply of Ambien, so I'll resort to it when I can't stand the no-brain from lack of sleep and revisit the subject with my doctor next week. So, tomorrow I allot 8 again, then 7 Wednesday and reconsider from there. Getting withdrawal symptoms at all when I've only cut down has kind of blindsided me--I expected them once I quit completely, but didn't expect them so soon and they started last week already.
Feel free to drop suggestions for dealing with withdrawal in the comments--not sure why I'm having them at all since I'm using plenty of nicotine replacement (see the title of this post), vaping throughout the day using 24mg/100 ml strength juice plus still smoking some (8 down from 1-1.5 packs/day).
And no, smartass (I know there's one of you out there--there always is), "Quit vaping and just smoke your nicotine like normal people" is NOT a valid suggestion so don't bother. Actually, go ahead and do it--it'll give me something to giggle at when I delete your comment since all comments are moderated before they hit the page.
Time for bed (or try to sleep anyhow) so here's the mix for that Chocolate Covered Cherry mess that's making my room smell awesome and my newly-awake tastebuds squee:
2 parts Johnson Creek Red Oak Rainier Smoke Juice
1 part Johnson Creek Original Chocolate Truffle Smoke Juice
Mix, steep 2 days, then fill a cart and pig out!
If you're allergic to Propylene Glycol (the main allergy turning up amongst vapers) use the Red Oak line Swiss Dark--but expect the results to be thick, because I'm told the Swiss Dark is so thick it doesn't vape well or at all unless you mix it down anyhow. I may also add just a little bit of Vanilla once I get some on hand--vanilla always rounds out chocolate flavors and brings them out so it might really kick this mix in the ass even tho it's already pretty rockin'.
Have fun and happy vaping!
Saturday, October 13, 2012
The Dawning Light, or, Habits I Never Knew I Had
Just a quickie post--my neck won't take a lot of babbling, which is nice for you--less of me to read.
Smoke counts:
Friday: 12
Saturday: 10
I'm allowing myself 10 tomorrow, then down to 8 on Monday, cut on Wednesday to 7 thru next Monday and see how that goes. I have a convention to work at this coming weekend, and usually having to go outside for every cigarette (I live with a smoker so we only smoke outside when sensitive family members come to visit) cuts down on my consumption but sometimes it increases it if a lot of my smoky friends are around--we wind up camping outside, shooting the breeze in the breeze, so to speak. I'll probably take along any clove cigarettes I have left and give them to a friend. Much as I love the taste there's no sense in them going to waste--I only smoked them when I was in the mood for something special so it's not working out very well to make them part of the daily routine. I think they're higher in nicotine than my regular smoke but the flavoring doesn't go down well for me as a regular thing--when I crave tobacco I want my Newports.
Speaking of which, if I had back a tenth of the smellsticks I've bummed out at conventions alone I wouldn't be purchasing another cigarette for the rest of this year, let alone until my quit date. As short on cash as I am from setting up with eCigs, that'd be really nice.
I'm also finding out pain spikes make it harder to control smellstick use--I'm guessing it's a comfort thing since I've been in chronic pain for most of the last 18 years and I've smoked far longer than that. To be honest, one of my better motivations to quit is that sometimes I'm on medications that make me sleepy and after having been in 2 house fires as a kid I'm scared to death that I'm going to fall asleep with a smoke and burn this place down. The trouble is, my smoke cravings peak at night so that's actually the toughest time not to smoke and those are the hardest cravings to vape away. I guess that's another reason there's a quit date, to get used to the change.
I do see progress though. I'm reaching for my Vea before my cigarette case after meals these days. I expected to have a rougher time eliminating the after-food "dessert" but with the flavors that nicotine liquid can be had in I can truly have dessert just by screwing on a sweet-flavored cart. I have a VG (vegetable glycerin) based cherry named Rainier that's awesome after meals and I'm using the Chocolate Truffle that doesn't vape well by itself mixed with it for a yummy Chocolate Covered Cherry. I don't have the proportions right yet but when I do it'll go in the DIY Nic Recipe tagged posts.
Have a good night and check out the post below this one for a big dose of adult funny--Shelf Life stars some of the best-known names in voice acting doing a live-action webseries and hilarious is an understatement when describing this one. So have a fun time and give it a look!
Smoke counts:
Friday: 12
Saturday: 10
I'm allowing myself 10 tomorrow, then down to 8 on Monday, cut on Wednesday to 7 thru next Monday and see how that goes. I have a convention to work at this coming weekend, and usually having to go outside for every cigarette (I live with a smoker so we only smoke outside when sensitive family members come to visit) cuts down on my consumption but sometimes it increases it if a lot of my smoky friends are around--we wind up camping outside, shooting the breeze in the breeze, so to speak. I'll probably take along any clove cigarettes I have left and give them to a friend. Much as I love the taste there's no sense in them going to waste--I only smoked them when I was in the mood for something special so it's not working out very well to make them part of the daily routine. I think they're higher in nicotine than my regular smoke but the flavoring doesn't go down well for me as a regular thing--when I crave tobacco I want my Newports.
Speaking of which, if I had back a tenth of the smellsticks I've bummed out at conventions alone I wouldn't be purchasing another cigarette for the rest of this year, let alone until my quit date. As short on cash as I am from setting up with eCigs, that'd be really nice.
I'm also finding out pain spikes make it harder to control smellstick use--I'm guessing it's a comfort thing since I've been in chronic pain for most of the last 18 years and I've smoked far longer than that. To be honest, one of my better motivations to quit is that sometimes I'm on medications that make me sleepy and after having been in 2 house fires as a kid I'm scared to death that I'm going to fall asleep with a smoke and burn this place down. The trouble is, my smoke cravings peak at night so that's actually the toughest time not to smoke and those are the hardest cravings to vape away. I guess that's another reason there's a quit date, to get used to the change.
I do see progress though. I'm reaching for my Vea before my cigarette case after meals these days. I expected to have a rougher time eliminating the after-food "dessert" but with the flavors that nicotine liquid can be had in I can truly have dessert just by screwing on a sweet-flavored cart. I have a VG (vegetable glycerin) based cherry named Rainier that's awesome after meals and I'm using the Chocolate Truffle that doesn't vape well by itself mixed with it for a yummy Chocolate Covered Cherry. I don't have the proportions right yet but when I do it'll go in the DIY Nic Recipe tagged posts.
Have a good night and check out the post below this one for a big dose of adult funny--Shelf Life stars some of the best-known names in voice acting doing a live-action webseries and hilarious is an understatement when describing this one. So have a fun time and give it a look!
SHELF LIFE, From the Top, NSFW, Adult Material
I just finished watching my hands-down favorite webseries' latest episode and was going to embed it here, but then realized that it didn't make sense to do that since I just started this lunacy-ridden waste of server space, so here's Shelf Life, Season 1, Episode 1. YouTube is an official outlet for its distribution, so it's perfectly legal to watch it there, no worries about bootlegging. This is a great time to get started on it--Season 4 will be along soon so you might as well start catching up with the big kids now.
WARNINGS: NSFW, NOT FOR THE KIDDIE SET, NO WAY, NO HOW, JUST DON'T EVEN SHOW THIS SHIT TO YOUR KIDS, OK?
...and while we're at it...
NOT FOR YOU IF YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR REGARDING FOUL LANGUAGE, BOOZE AND DRUGS, NON-PC POTSHOTS, SEXUAL DIALOGUE, or are TOO TIGHTASSED TO LAUGH AT WHERE TRAVIS WILLINGHAM'S CHARACTER PLACES HIS NO-NOs.
Shelf Life is bits of the life of a set of action figures, who are owned by a 10 year old sociopath, during the time said nutboy is away from his room. The episodes are shorts, less than 3 minutes, so catching up will be a breeze. Now that you've been warned, I don't want to hear any bitching about how "horrible" and "obscene" this stuff is--that happens to be what I like about it, thank you very much, and you can't possibly say that you had no idea it was "dirty".
I'll shut up; you watch Shelf Life.
WARNINGS: NSFW, NOT FOR THE KIDDIE SET, NO WAY, NO HOW, JUST DON'T EVEN SHOW THIS SHIT TO YOUR KIDS, OK?
...and while we're at it...
NOT FOR YOU IF YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR REGARDING FOUL LANGUAGE, BOOZE AND DRUGS, NON-PC POTSHOTS, SEXUAL DIALOGUE, or are TOO TIGHTASSED TO LAUGH AT WHERE TRAVIS WILLINGHAM'S CHARACTER PLACES HIS NO-NOs.
Shelf Life is bits of the life of a set of action figures, who are owned by a 10 year old sociopath, during the time said nutboy is away from his room. The episodes are shorts, less than 3 minutes, so catching up will be a breeze. Now that you've been warned, I don't want to hear any bitching about how "horrible" and "obscene" this stuff is--that happens to be what I like about it, thank you very much, and you can't possibly say that you had no idea it was "dirty".
I'll shut up; you watch Shelf Life.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
No good deed
Yesterday was an emotionally rough one. I'd done someone a favor, one that apparently wasn't made known even among closest friends, and so I wound up taking crap over "not being supportive" when... oh, hell with it! The reasons don't matter, but another situation that I need to learn to deal with without groping for the nearest smellstick showed up (dramatic bullshit that I occasionally get roped into), and about three hours into fielding texts and social networking posts over it I finally picked one up, had about three drags, then had to leave the car to go into a store for my mom, who's been doing the driving lately because driving stresses the neck injury I suffered in March.
She smoked the rest of the cigarette before I could get back to the car, which was about five minutes after I'd left it.
Maybe feeling ticked off is unreasonable, since I'd bummed the damned thing from her in the first place. What got to me was that I'd broken down and asked for it but wasn't allowed to finish it? What kind of shit is that?!?!?!?
I did say it probably wasn't a reasonable mindset, remember?
I did allow myself an extra to replace it--figured as long as I'd dealt with that kind of stress for that long and had already started a smoke, I may as well finish it with one of my own (I like them better than hers, even tho I'm not liking any of them nearly as much as I had been before I bought my Vea from jcsmoke.com). I also found a pack of Djarum clove cigars (thanks to new legislation about what used to be called "clove cigarettes" they are now "cigars". No idea who the mental midget was who cooked that one up, but they're the same things as before with a one-word change to the packaging. My tax dollars at work.) so I'll be adding one of those per day til I kill off the pack or give it away to someone I know who loves them, whichever comes before the 31st or I get so sick of smellsticks that I toss them before that date.
I'm beginning to see the point of a quit date--I'm benefiting by having some room to figure out strategies for staying inside my allowance by using other coping skills in situations that used to trigger my typical "Bork this in the anus--I'm going out for a cigarette!" response. It's also letting me alter other parts of my lifestyle to help deal with the physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms.
I realized a couple of nights ago that it's letting my friends adjust to me as a non-smoker also. My best friend Kirby (until I hear a name she'd rather be called) responded to my "I'm quitting" announcement with, "Aw, now I can't go out for smokes with you anymore!" That's when I told her about the event we'd been at earlier in September where I'd been told vaping was something "We (royal version) decided we didn't want (that) around here", so that likely I'd be out with her anyhow, and even if vaping were allowed indoors I'd miss seeing the people I'd run into by smoking outdoors so I'd probably follow her out for awhile just like always.
Since I've been up on numbers again, I'm readjusting my smellstick allowance--today I started with six Newports and one Djarum in the pack in my cigarette case (I do hope JCSJ makes a pocket case for my Vea--that's a rant I'll save for another day, missing my smoke case) and I'll stay there thru Saturday and see how I've done.
So--numbers summary:
Wednesday: 9 smellsticks plus a little bit of one.
Thursday: 6 allowed plus a clove cigarette
So far today, I've had 3 along with coffee (over a space of about 2 hours--used to be I'd snarf 3 in the first half-hour after crawling out of bed, so it's a big improvement) and one more split between 2 rounds of food, so I'm pretty well on track.
I should note about all the talk about the company where I get my equipment and nicotine liquid: I am not a paid spokesperson. I receive no special treatment for mentioning them here or anywhere else. I just like my system, the liquids available there, and the customer service can't be beat.
Remember that one liquid I didn't like so well? I mentioned it in a contact email I sent while asking about technical specs on the equipment I'm using (another post is coming about what's available for those of us who vape instead of smoke, and holy Vegetable Glycerin, Batman, it's a whole new world!) and the next morning I found an answer telling me that a pre-paid label was on the way for me to send the bottle I didn't like back to them, with a note in the box to let them know if they should give me back my money or if I'd take an exchange! Yep, they know I've opened it, used some, doesn't matter--I get to send it back and get an ounce of Tundra instead.
Too freakin' sweet! The Tundra is a whopping strong menthol, light on the tobacco flavor and just like all their flavors available in strengths from 24 mg nicotine/100 ml fluid to zero nic formula.
Time to go do something else--I have a phone call coming in a few minutes so I'll be taking that and then deciding what to make for supper since food is so dang yummy now that I'm more inclined to go back to playing around with new recipes, like the egg salad I made for lunch. I'll be posting those recipes along with all this too--I like to invent new food and that urge is back now that I can taste the nuances of what I can do to food again.
Have a good day--I'm planning to!
She smoked the rest of the cigarette before I could get back to the car, which was about five minutes after I'd left it.
Maybe feeling ticked off is unreasonable, since I'd bummed the damned thing from her in the first place. What got to me was that I'd broken down and asked for it but wasn't allowed to finish it? What kind of shit is that?!?!?!?
I did say it probably wasn't a reasonable mindset, remember?
I did allow myself an extra to replace it--figured as long as I'd dealt with that kind of stress for that long and had already started a smoke, I may as well finish it with one of my own (I like them better than hers, even tho I'm not liking any of them nearly as much as I had been before I bought my Vea from jcsmoke.com). I also found a pack of Djarum clove cigars (thanks to new legislation about what used to be called "clove cigarettes" they are now "cigars". No idea who the mental midget was who cooked that one up, but they're the same things as before with a one-word change to the packaging. My tax dollars at work.) so I'll be adding one of those per day til I kill off the pack or give it away to someone I know who loves them, whichever comes before the 31st or I get so sick of smellsticks that I toss them before that date.
I'm beginning to see the point of a quit date--I'm benefiting by having some room to figure out strategies for staying inside my allowance by using other coping skills in situations that used to trigger my typical "Bork this in the anus--I'm going out for a cigarette!" response. It's also letting me alter other parts of my lifestyle to help deal with the physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms.
I realized a couple of nights ago that it's letting my friends adjust to me as a non-smoker also. My best friend Kirby (until I hear a name she'd rather be called) responded to my "I'm quitting" announcement with, "Aw, now I can't go out for smokes with you anymore!" That's when I told her about the event we'd been at earlier in September where I'd been told vaping was something "We (royal version) decided we didn't want (that) around here", so that likely I'd be out with her anyhow, and even if vaping were allowed indoors I'd miss seeing the people I'd run into by smoking outdoors so I'd probably follow her out for awhile just like always.
Since I've been up on numbers again, I'm readjusting my smellstick allowance--today I started with six Newports and one Djarum in the pack in my cigarette case (I do hope JCSJ makes a pocket case for my Vea--that's a rant I'll save for another day, missing my smoke case) and I'll stay there thru Saturday and see how I've done.
So--numbers summary:
Wednesday: 9 smellsticks plus a little bit of one.
Thursday: 6 allowed plus a clove cigarette
So far today, I've had 3 along with coffee (over a space of about 2 hours--used to be I'd snarf 3 in the first half-hour after crawling out of bed, so it's a big improvement) and one more split between 2 rounds of food, so I'm pretty well on track.
I should note about all the talk about the company where I get my equipment and nicotine liquid: I am not a paid spokesperson. I receive no special treatment for mentioning them here or anywhere else. I just like my system, the liquids available there, and the customer service can't be beat.
Remember that one liquid I didn't like so well? I mentioned it in a contact email I sent while asking about technical specs on the equipment I'm using (another post is coming about what's available for those of us who vape instead of smoke, and holy Vegetable Glycerin, Batman, it's a whole new world!) and the next morning I found an answer telling me that a pre-paid label was on the way for me to send the bottle I didn't like back to them, with a note in the box to let them know if they should give me back my money or if I'd take an exchange! Yep, they know I've opened it, used some, doesn't matter--I get to send it back and get an ounce of Tundra instead.
Too freakin' sweet! The Tundra is a whopping strong menthol, light on the tobacco flavor and just like all their flavors available in strengths from 24 mg nicotine/100 ml fluid to zero nic formula.
Time to go do something else--I have a phone call coming in a few minutes so I'll be taking that and then deciding what to make for supper since food is so dang yummy now that I'm more inclined to go back to playing around with new recipes, like the egg salad I made for lunch. I'll be posting those recipes along with all this too--I like to invent new food and that urge is back now that I can taste the nuances of what I can do to food again.
Have a good day--I'm planning to!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Decisions, Decisions
It's been a long, exciting, stressful day, but a nice peaceful evening. It all balances out in the end, I guess.
This morning was awesome on a stick and terrifying at the same time, but I liked the results--I'll babble more when I'm free too, which will be when all is set in stone.
I did smoke more cigarettes than I have been recently, but this was not a day to try to deal with tobacco withdrawal symptoms. This morning had a lot hinging on success and the fewer distractions from my fucked-over body, the better, and one thing I could control was the withdrawal. It does seem to me there's more than just the nicotine as an addictive factor with analogs--if it were just the nicotine the eCig would be all I'd need. Furthermore, the prescription inhaler (a Nicotrol product made up of a flavored nicotine cartridge and an inhaler to deliver it--no aerosol, just a 2-piece mouthpiece that opened up the cartridge and let the user inhale the nic) would have done it 3 years ago when I began trying with that. I expect the rest of the week will get me back on track and down in numbers again.
Speaking of numbers, the quit date is on or before October 31, 2012. Halloween's my favorite holiday so it makes sense to begin something anew that night at 11:59 pm.
I've said that lots of things are changing, and my weight seems to be on that list too. I checked the scale this weekend and I've actually dropped another 4 lbs. I haven't totaled things up lately but I'm truly not on a diet or medication or anything that is making weight loss happen; it's just happening. While I like that it's going away, two things worry me: Why, and when is it coming back? Guess I'll find that out when I need to know it.
I did have a funny moment during the night. My doctor did prescribe a little Ambien to help deal with the insomnia side effect of the withdrawal, and for the most part I did sleep like a little happy zombie until one odd point in the night. For some bizarre reason I "came to" at about 5:30, holding my phone and a bottle of water, sitting bolt upright in bed??? Whatever I was doing drained the charge on my phone too, because I woke up to my alarm coming from Asuma's side of the bed, because apparently when it went off on mine it was also showing signs of being near-dead so he kindly plugged it in for my daffy ass. Maybe I was playing Angry Birds in my sleep? Wonder if I did well...
Anyhow, time to keep this short--heading home tonight and need to finish packing up. I'll keep working on how I got to the point where I am right now so the current line of babble makes more sense. Meanwhile, if you're interested in the convention I help run, keep an eye on the Facebook page, the website and the forum and you'll get some necessary info in the next 10 days or so.
This morning was awesome on a stick and terrifying at the same time, but I liked the results--I'll babble more when I'm free too, which will be when all is set in stone.
I did smoke more cigarettes than I have been recently, but this was not a day to try to deal with tobacco withdrawal symptoms. This morning had a lot hinging on success and the fewer distractions from my fucked-over body, the better, and one thing I could control was the withdrawal. It does seem to me there's more than just the nicotine as an addictive factor with analogs--if it were just the nicotine the eCig would be all I'd need. Furthermore, the prescription inhaler (a Nicotrol product made up of a flavored nicotine cartridge and an inhaler to deliver it--no aerosol, just a 2-piece mouthpiece that opened up the cartridge and let the user inhale the nic) would have done it 3 years ago when I began trying with that. I expect the rest of the week will get me back on track and down in numbers again.
Speaking of numbers, the quit date is on or before October 31, 2012. Halloween's my favorite holiday so it makes sense to begin something anew that night at 11:59 pm.
I've said that lots of things are changing, and my weight seems to be on that list too. I checked the scale this weekend and I've actually dropped another 4 lbs. I haven't totaled things up lately but I'm truly not on a diet or medication or anything that is making weight loss happen; it's just happening. While I like that it's going away, two things worry me: Why, and when is it coming back? Guess I'll find that out when I need to know it.
I did have a funny moment during the night. My doctor did prescribe a little Ambien to help deal with the insomnia side effect of the withdrawal, and for the most part I did sleep like a little happy zombie until one odd point in the night. For some bizarre reason I "came to" at about 5:30, holding my phone and a bottle of water, sitting bolt upright in bed??? Whatever I was doing drained the charge on my phone too, because I woke up to my alarm coming from Asuma's side of the bed, because apparently when it went off on mine it was also showing signs of being near-dead so he kindly plugged it in for my daffy ass. Maybe I was playing Angry Birds in my sleep? Wonder if I did well...
Anyhow, time to keep this short--heading home tonight and need to finish packing up. I'll keep working on how I got to the point where I am right now so the current line of babble makes more sense. Meanwhile, if you're interested in the convention I help run, keep an eye on the Facebook page, the website and the forum and you'll get some necessary info in the next 10 days or so.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Cut-down test run #1
I'm considering quitting smoking using an eCigarette system--I hadn't bought it with that in mind, but the difference between eCigs and analogs is pointing up things I didn't notice about how smoking smells and tastes once you're not drowning yourself in tobacco smoke, so I'm giving the idea serious thought since I have something that seems to make it easier than anything else I've ever tried to quit with before. I'll post the whole rambling story about how I got to this point from "Gee, I'm sick of paying ridiculous taxes on cigarettes--it's time to save a few bucks" later on.
When I got up this morning I thought that since I only smoked 6 cigarettes yesterday, a dry run of a cut-down might be interesting. I set out to limit myself to 5 analogs today, just as a dry run to see how this is going to rattle my cage in general. I either picked a really good day for it, or a really bad one.
Morning and early afternoon went all right--stuck to my 2 analogs in the morning, then 1/2 to 1 after meals, then Asuma (who deserves a gold star on his report card) and I remembered we had to pick up some stuff at a couple of places today. I checked my cartomizer and battery--seemed like the cart had a decent amount in it and the battery was good on charge (this system's are lasting me a day and a half), so I left my analogs at home and we took off.
Nasty surprise--the cart started giving out shortly after we left the house. Normally I'd smoke 3-4 while out in the van, and I had to go really easy on the Vea or I'd cook my cart (they're good usually for 2-4 fills and I was on the 2nd. No sense wasting carts--while they're about $2 each I have to get them online, so add shipping to that and it's not exactly like dropping $4 on a cup of coffee, so I want to make them last as long as they can). By the time we got back to the house I was having my first real nic fit, so I went for the easy supply and had an extra half a smoke--part of #4, but did it before eating the hot food I brought home. Not a move I wanted to make but I also didn't want to be too unreasonable while I dealt with the need for tobacco smoke. During the shopping run I'd felt antsy and easily annoyed so I wanted to get a lid on the moodiness before it wrecked the first good weekend I'd had in a month, since I spent most of September sick and hadn't seen much of Asuma during the month.
Turns out that was a less bad thing than I first felt--it took quite awhile to get a handle on the nic fit, longer than I expected, so putting the smoke first probably helped me more than putting it off and being impatient while eating because I felt like I had to get it out of the way to get at what I really wanted.
I was getting back on track after supper and my other half smoke, and was better for a few hours. Then the cart I'd switched over to started tasting bad and acting like it's nearly time for it to die. It happens--the carts are semi-disposable, it's just that it picked a craptastic time to do it. I'd just topped the Tundra (a strong menthol taste very light on tobacco, currently my regular favorite) when we got home, the Rainier (a very tasty cherry, one many say is close to Blu brand's Cherry Crush) cart was close to dry so I had to top it and once they're topped they seem to work better if they sit about 8 hours, so I pulled out a new pre-filled Arctic Menthol (one of the two menthol flavors I'd ordered), then remembered it's close to bedtime and I'd want a full cart then, so I popped on the Chocolate Truffle cart. Ooooohhhhhhhh, baby, this stuff's like nibbling Godiva! I put the eCig to my lips, closed my eyes and prepared for dessert...
...and discovered that the battery picked that precise moment to fucking die.
*Facepalm*
Easy enough to fix--my set's got 2 long-life batteries to make this happen and the pass-through feature would let me vape while it was charging too, it was just the topper. But I didn't toss it at the wall and grab a Newport--I'm watching one battery charge while the other feeds me sweet sweet cocoa-flavored nicotine until time for my bedtime cigarette.
So--I went one over on the allotment I was trying, had a rough evening trying to get on top of a snag, and learned things.
(Oh, shut it--it's my blog and I get to be derpy if I want to--no one's paying me to do this and no one's Superglued your browser to this page so give me a few posts to locate my funny again.)
I think I'll give a 5-analog limit another try tomorrow. It's something I need to learn to deal with, since it's looking like I've gotten to the point where I've found the hard-to-skip analogs and it's time to figure out the coping skills I'll need.
Wish me luck.
When I got up this morning I thought that since I only smoked 6 cigarettes yesterday, a dry run of a cut-down might be interesting. I set out to limit myself to 5 analogs today, just as a dry run to see how this is going to rattle my cage in general. I either picked a really good day for it, or a really bad one.
Morning and early afternoon went all right--stuck to my 2 analogs in the morning, then 1/2 to 1 after meals, then Asuma (who deserves a gold star on his report card) and I remembered we had to pick up some stuff at a couple of places today. I checked my cartomizer and battery--seemed like the cart had a decent amount in it and the battery was good on charge (this system's are lasting me a day and a half), so I left my analogs at home and we took off.
Nasty surprise--the cart started giving out shortly after we left the house. Normally I'd smoke 3-4 while out in the van, and I had to go really easy on the Vea or I'd cook my cart (they're good usually for 2-4 fills and I was on the 2nd. No sense wasting carts--while they're about $2 each I have to get them online, so add shipping to that and it's not exactly like dropping $4 on a cup of coffee, so I want to make them last as long as they can). By the time we got back to the house I was having my first real nic fit, so I went for the easy supply and had an extra half a smoke--part of #4, but did it before eating the hot food I brought home. Not a move I wanted to make but I also didn't want to be too unreasonable while I dealt with the need for tobacco smoke. During the shopping run I'd felt antsy and easily annoyed so I wanted to get a lid on the moodiness before it wrecked the first good weekend I'd had in a month, since I spent most of September sick and hadn't seen much of Asuma during the month.
Turns out that was a less bad thing than I first felt--it took quite awhile to get a handle on the nic fit, longer than I expected, so putting the smoke first probably helped me more than putting it off and being impatient while eating because I felt like I had to get it out of the way to get at what I really wanted.
I was getting back on track after supper and my other half smoke, and was better for a few hours. Then the cart I'd switched over to started tasting bad and acting like it's nearly time for it to die. It happens--the carts are semi-disposable, it's just that it picked a craptastic time to do it. I'd just topped the Tundra (a strong menthol taste very light on tobacco, currently my regular favorite) when we got home, the Rainier (a very tasty cherry, one many say is close to Blu brand's Cherry Crush) cart was close to dry so I had to top it and once they're topped they seem to work better if they sit about 8 hours, so I pulled out a new pre-filled Arctic Menthol (one of the two menthol flavors I'd ordered), then remembered it's close to bedtime and I'd want a full cart then, so I popped on the Chocolate Truffle cart. Ooooohhhhhhhh, baby, this stuff's like nibbling Godiva! I put the eCig to my lips, closed my eyes and prepared for dessert...
...and discovered that the battery picked that precise moment to fucking die.
*Facepalm*
Easy enough to fix--my set's got 2 long-life batteries to make this happen and the pass-through feature would let me vape while it was charging too, it was just the topper. But I didn't toss it at the wall and grab a Newport--I'm watching one battery charge while the other feeds me sweet sweet cocoa-flavored nicotine until time for my bedtime cigarette.
So--I went one over on the allotment I was trying, had a rough evening trying to get on top of a snag, and learned things.
- My boyfriend is one patient dude. I knew this before, but the depths still amaze me.
- Shit happens. Prepare for it.
- Keep a 5-pack of pre-filled Tundras on hand for times like this.
- Shit happens. Prepare for it.
- Take a damned extra cart along and avoid hours of annoyance.
- Shit happens. Prepare for it.
- A pocket-sized pack that will hold my Vea and 1-2 extra carts, preferably leak-resistant or leak-proof, would be a nice way to spend a few bucks in the interest of making this work if I decide to go all the way and quit using my eCig to deal with the transition.
- Did I mention that shit happens and I should expect it to happen, and thus should prepare for it?
- It's not quite time to set a quit date, but I'm toying with October 31.
(Oh, shut it--it's my blog and I get to be derpy if I want to--no one's paying me to do this and no one's Superglued your browser to this page so give me a few posts to locate my funny again.)
I think I'll give a 5-analog limit another try tomorrow. It's something I need to learn to deal with, since it's looking like I've gotten to the point where I've found the hard-to-skip analogs and it's time to figure out the coping skills I'll need.
Wish me luck.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Well, so much for THAT idea!
Hi again, Blogosphere. It's me--some call me Serra, these days more call me the name you're seeing now, Pandora Wilde, which is the first name I could get Facebook to decide was a "real" name, since my actual birth name kept getting rejected by an auto-filter designed to keep out made-up names there. Whatever name you know me by doesn't matter. You know who I am, and now it's time to tell you I'm back.
I recently bomb-shelled this entire profile because I couldn't totally remove it. I felt like I had little to say these days--I've felt stuck in several ruts until recently, but it took bombing every word I've ever written to realize that I've actually started becoming Unstuck. Changes have happened--some by force of will, some by serendipity, many just because I wasn't watching my long-view, my vision stuck on making my body and mind get through the next event or goal or sometimes just through the day.
Since there indeed have been changes and I have raised my eyes enough to see at least one more major one coming, I once again feel the need to pull what's happening out of my head, put it somewhere that my eyes can look around it from all sides, and maybe amuse myself and the average 10 or so readers I attract in the process (that's usually the count on previous blogs I've had).
You're going to find a lot of what I used to post, because a lot of me hasn't changed--I'm middle-aged, I have a body that's becoming more of a House of Horror than an amusement park, my mind has a lot of diverse spaces that range from the absurd to the absolutely horrifying, and bitchiness is a survival tactic rather than a personality trait.
You'll also find a lot of the new--and so will I. I want room to roam through it all as I encounter it, and so I've started this blog, now that I'm Unstuck in Midlife.
I recently bomb-shelled this entire profile because I couldn't totally remove it. I felt like I had little to say these days--I've felt stuck in several ruts until recently, but it took bombing every word I've ever written to realize that I've actually started becoming Unstuck. Changes have happened--some by force of will, some by serendipity, many just because I wasn't watching my long-view, my vision stuck on making my body and mind get through the next event or goal or sometimes just through the day.
Since there indeed have been changes and I have raised my eyes enough to see at least one more major one coming, I once again feel the need to pull what's happening out of my head, put it somewhere that my eyes can look around it from all sides, and maybe amuse myself and the average 10 or so readers I attract in the process (that's usually the count on previous blogs I've had).
You're going to find a lot of what I used to post, because a lot of me hasn't changed--I'm middle-aged, I have a body that's becoming more of a House of Horror than an amusement park, my mind has a lot of diverse spaces that range from the absurd to the absolutely horrifying, and bitchiness is a survival tactic rather than a personality trait.
You'll also find a lot of the new--and so will I. I want room to roam through it all as I encounter it, and so I've started this blog, now that I'm Unstuck in Midlife.
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