Decisions, Decisions

It's been a long, exciting, stressful day, but a nice peaceful evening. It all balances out in the end, I guess.

This morning was awesome on a stick and terrifying at the same time, but I liked the results--I'll babble more when I'm free too, which will be when all is set in stone.

I did smoke more cigarettes than I have been recently, but this was not a day to try to deal with tobacco withdrawal symptoms. This morning had a lot hinging on success and the fewer distractions from my fucked-over body, the better, and one thing I could control was the withdrawal. It does seem to me there's more than just the nicotine as an addictive factor with analogs--if it were just the nicotine the eCig would be all I'd need. Furthermore, the prescription inhaler (a Nicotrol product made up of a flavored nicotine cartridge and an inhaler to deliver it--no aerosol, just a 2-piece mouthpiece that opened up the cartridge and let the user inhale the nic) would have done it 3 years ago when I began trying with that. I expect the rest of the week will get me back on track and down in numbers again.

Speaking of numbers, the quit date is on or before October 31, 2012. Halloween's my favorite holiday so it makes sense to begin something anew that night at 11:59 pm.

I've said that lots of things are changing, and my weight seems to be on that list too. I checked the scale this weekend and I've actually dropped another 4 lbs. I haven't totaled things up lately but I'm truly not on a diet or medication or anything that is making weight loss happen; it's just happening. While I like that it's going away, two things worry me: Why, and when is it coming back? Guess I'll find that out when I need to know it.

I did have a funny moment during the night. My doctor did prescribe a little Ambien to help deal with the insomnia side effect of the withdrawal, and for the most part I did sleep like a little happy zombie until one odd point in the night. For some bizarre reason I "came to" at about 5:30, holding my phone and a bottle of water, sitting bolt upright in bed??? Whatever I was doing drained the charge on my phone too, because I woke up to my alarm coming from Asuma's side of the bed, because apparently when it went off on mine it was also showing signs of being near-dead so he kindly plugged it in for my daffy ass. Maybe I was playing Angry Birds in my sleep? Wonder if I did well...

Anyhow, time to keep this short--heading home tonight and need to finish packing up. I'll keep working on how I got to the point where I am right now so the current line of babble makes more sense. Meanwhile, if you're interested in the convention I help run, keep an eye on the Facebook page, the website and the forum and you'll get some necessary info in the next 10 days or so.